The Terrible Twos?

Whoever coined the phrase "the terrible twos" had clearly never met a three year old, or at least none of the ones I know!  Sheesh!  As I battled my 3 1/2 year old today (again) about 1- leaving a friend's house and 2- saying thank you, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed and somewhat helpless.  Oh, and did I mention humiliated and exasperated?

How do you reason with these little people?  I feel as though I have tried every trick in the book, every form of punishment, every way to possibly get through to him, and I am left with the same defiant preschooler on my hands.  He balks in the face of consistency and challenges the author of every parenting book ever written!  His stone cold determination to not bend to my requests puts even the best politician to shame!

Frustration aside, I know he was overdue for his nap and hates abrupt change.  How then do you draw the line between just acting out from being tired and blatantly acting out in ways he clearly knows better than?  On the one hand I take comfort in the fact that he will not be a child (or teen) who easily bends to pressures (a born leader) but on the other hand I am faced with the incredibly challenging dilemma of being in charge of shaping the mind, will and heart of a child who, at times, is seemingly made of iron.

In general he is a good boy.  It is just these everyday challenges that I know I can't let him win, the battles that I know will mold his ideas on respecting authority and therefore must be won so that we are not waging the same battle when he is 8, or 11, or 15- these are what currently suck the life out of me!

He finally collapsed into bed for his much needed nap and I ran for the hidden bag of chocolate in my kitchen.  Now I am faced with the fact that this particular battle is sadly long from over.  Tonight will be one of those nights that he does have daddy to deal with (thank the Lord for cell phones!  "Honey, you hear that?  Yes, it really is that bad!).  Yet as he sullenly follows his father into the office for his due punishment, I know that my heart will break.  Perhaps it isn't easy being three and learning these life lessons.  I know I am not a huge fan of the lessons my heavenly Father is seemingly constantly doling out for me, but they are no less important or essential.

So Jesus,

Please pour out your grace on my little family tonight.  Help us all to have the hearts to do Your will and not our own.  Help us to learn from discipline and walk away changed.  Help us to have self-discipline so we can stop repeating these lessons!  Thank you for your kindness and compassion and please help us be more like You!

So be it!

A different kind of "reality" family

Alright, I know not everyone will agree, but I really like the Duggars on TLC's 18 Kids and Counting!  Every time I watch them I feel like I have so much to learn in raising my family.  Granted, they have had a lot of practice, but Michelle Duggar is always so calm, patient and loving toward her family.  I especially realize this as I yell for my son to "Pipe down!  I'm trying to listen to the Michelle discuss peace in her home!  Sheesh!"  Errr... yeah, not so good.

I don't agree with everything they believe.  My wardrobe contains pants and you will find dancing in my home almost every hour of the day.  I don't intend to have children into my 40s and I know our styles of homeschooling are very different.  But you know what?  When I look at their children their style and process of parenting and family-life really speaks for itself!  Those kids are solid in their beliefs, kind, generous, respectful and smart, but they are still very much kids.  I see these other reality shows with families, even those who claim to be Christian, and none of them reflect what I would want my family to look like as the Duggars do.

Initially I thought Michelle was, well... a little fake.  When she would constantly talk about "encouragement" with her cheerful demeanor and peppy inflection I couldn't help but roll my eyes.  Then one day it hit me... she is right!  She isn't just saying that because it sounds like the right Christian-ease to plug into the interview, she really means it!  And having gone through a sustained period of things really not going well for my family, I see just how important that encouragement is!  When you have others encouraging you it makes such a difference!  Even just one person reminding you that God does hear you and has not forgotten you, that things will get better, can mean the difference between pushing through one more day or falling into a horrible, bottomless depression.

Another thing that Michelle said on their question and answer show when someone asked how she dealt with the little ones without getting stressed was that she always tries to make sure she is smiling at her kids, intentionally.  Sooner or later you can't help but change your mood, even if just a little bit, if you have a smile on your face!  I have especially found this to be true when R-Man is pitching a fit.  If I smile at him and make him squeak out a smile too, even if it is just a fake one, pretty soon it becomes real and things seem to calm down much more quickly.

I have so much to learn, I know it will never end.  For now though, while I am deeply entrenched in the research years, it is nice to have the Duggars to watch and glean from.  So, thank you Duggars, you are a beautiful family!