Thursday, January 6, 2011

A little heart broken...

Last night I found out that the Friday co-op/moms group I have so raved about, counted on and sought reprieve in, has been canceled.  This Friday will be the final meeting.  The short of it is, the wonderful family who hosts it will be moving in a few months and are simply unable to continue- it just won't work for them.

I get that.  And I respect the mama for so putting her family first and doing what is absolutely best for them.  She follows Jesus daily.  Deliberately.  I still have much to learn from her, but now will not have the chance.

Honestly, I'm heart broken.  Fridays were the one day a week that I really had the chance to be around other women (or adults at all for that matter).  I have learned soooo much from them.  Wisdom just seems to pour out of these ladies each week.  Jesus is there those days.  And more over, they are some of the most lovely and wonderful women you could ever meet- genuinely caring and a total kick in the pants to top it off.  

You can see it in their children because they are all as lovely, sweet, kind and goofy as their mothers.  Not the kind of kids you're bothered by, but the kind you could love almost as much as your own.

I always left Fridays with a lighter burden.  At a time in my life that has been fairly void of hope or encouragement, these women lifted me up and gave me a break.  

To say I will miss these days would be a gross understatement.  I wept a little last night.  I suppose from fear of loosing my friends, who I mostly only saw on these days.  And more over, loosing myself.  Loosing myself to the trials and hardships of this life without that fellowship to keep me afloat.

I'm a little broken right now.

know Jesus has bigger plans.  I KNOW that.  But sometimes, when disappointment after disappointment are heaped on your plate, you want to feel His guidance more than know it.  You want Him to fill the gaps in your aching soul more quickly.  You want answers.  You want Him to just say, "This is what I have for you next, this is what it looks like and this is when it's coming."

But if there is one thing I'm constantly reminded of, things don't happen in my timing, they happen in His.  And every time I rush ahead of him, I live to regret it in big ways.

So, I'm waiting on You, Jesus.  But just so You know, I'm pretty tired and I could really use some love and care about now.  

Be sure to visit my sponsor- Marmee's Bread Market- for recipes and everything else you need to easily make fresh baked goods for your family!