Wednesday, January 20, 2010

It finally happened- I officially lost my mind last week!

Yes folks, it happened!  All week long I just felt awful!  My brain was foggy- I could barely put together a sentence.  I was SERIOUSLY emotional- for no apparent reason I would burst into tears and it was so frustrating (for myself and all the poor male members of my household)!  I had no motivation to do anything despite the fact that my to-do list was a mile long.  I would just sit there, bouncing a screaming, teething baby and cleaning up after a puking preschooler thinking I was way beyond my threshold

By Wednesday I finally called my midwife to ask her what I should do.  She gave me some ideas for supplements and vitamins and told me I could call if I ever needed to talk. 

I needed, but I didn't call. 

By Thursday evening I was so sure that I was in the throws of a serious bout of postpartum depression that I didn't know what to do with myself.  I completely broke down in the middle of preparing dinner, packed up what I was doing and said "Let's go to Super Supplements." 

This was a big move because we are so broke right now, but my husband wholeheartedly agreed that something had to change!  We got all of us into the car and made the 30 minute drive in 5:00 traffic with a screaming 7 month old.  On the way there I honestly thought, "Maybe he should just drop me off at the psych ward of the hospital.  What if I just can't pull myself out of this?!"

We made it back home and warmed up some food from the freezer while I downed kelp capsules and vitamins like nobodies business!  Soon after I went to bed, not feeling much better but hoping that the money we just invested in my mental health would make a difference.

Then I woke up the next morning... can you guess what I found?  Yup- Aunt Flo was back!  Ha!  Arg!  I think that my body had been trying for over a month to readjust my hormones and bring back my period because all sorts of crazy things had been happening (if you know anything about natural family planning than you can probably venture a good guess of what I am talking about).  By this point even though I was highly annoyed that my period was back already (what's with all these women who make it over a year?!) I was just so glad to have an explanation for my temporary psychosis

Now I just hope it was that bad because it was the first time back and that I won't be plagued by such a hormonal upheaval every month!  However, now that I am taking my supplements (which I still think were a good investment) hopefully my hormones will get on more of an even keel and life can proceed as normal- or as normal as it can right now!

With all that said- yes, my Early Bird Challenge flew out the window with my sense of reality, but now that things have calmed down that little bird is tapping on my window begging to be let back in.  So I do intend to start my challenge again over the next few days. 

Also, I did get a little behind with my Bible in 90 Days reading last week but am happy to say that I am back on track and enjoying it much more now that I am in 1 Samuel and past many of the more depressing and repetitive books!  They were good to read, and I am glad I digested them in such large chunks to get the bigger picture, but boy am I glad they are over!  Now it is on to all the drama and good stuff!

So, yeah, I'm back!  Hope you missed me and thanks for waiting!


4torock said...

i did miss you and soo interested in what supplements u r taking... if u dont mind sharing or email me thanks soo much for keeping it real!

Dana Kangas said...

That is good news. :-) I was hoping it was going to be about poop...

HappilyDomestic said...

Hormones suck! I am glad it was just your body getting ready to start and not anything more serious. For some reason those first periods after having a baby are always the hardest! :-( Hope you get to feeling better. {{HUGS}}