Oh my, my, my... what to say? My brain feels jumbled! I have so much rolling around in that noggin of mine that it is difficult to be productive around the house (unlike last week!)! Drat! So here goes... some good, some bad, and some dreamy...
First off lets talk about some good! Some crazy really! Last Friday I came home to a very big surprise from Jer... and iPhone!! I couldn't believe it! I was totally shocked! I almost choked on my dinner! I have wanted one since I heard about them last fall and have been dealing with a ghetto Walmart cell phone for a few months since Roman broke mine! I totally love it! It is so nice ot be able to check the web and my e-mail, especially with Chic & Savvy Mamas really starting to take off! Plus, I am such a lister! My life is run by lists and now I have one handy place to store them all! It is also nice because I never forget to take my phone with me so I now will never accidentally leave my shopping lists and so forth on the kitchen table! Yeah for my wonderful husband! That more than makes up for Mother's Day!
Hmmm... next, not so fun. Roman is teething! Four molars all at once! Ugh! Poor guy (and poor mama!)! He had a fever all last weekend and is so cranky! Totally not himself! I feel so bad for him but I am also on the verge of loosing my mind! He just wants to be attached to me all day. The top two have broken through but the bottom ones still have a ways to go. Hopefully it will get over quickly! Pray for him!
And now for the dreamy- I have baby fever! Bad! I currently know 8 friends who are pregnant and one who had her baby 2 days ago. One of those friends I am planning a baby shower for also, which of course really makes me think about babies! Jer and I had planned on starting to TTC (try to conceive) in May, but due to a whole series of issues (including my body not cooperating) we haven't really. Well, this is the first month that my body is really getting back to normal and I have this gut feeling that it really is going to happen this month. I don't know, I am probably setting myself up for disappointment, but it just feels like it is going to be real. I have this strange calm about it.
Maybe that calm is from some of the planning we have already been doing for the next babe... (which could be getting a little ahead of the game, but hey I am the kinda gal who read homeschooling books when I was 2 months prego with my first! I like to be prepared!)... we have our names picked out (even if we were to have twins, hehe), the basement and yard really should be finished this fall/winter, and then there is the final decision that I have just come to (like last night!)- I want a homebirth for the next babe. I can't believe I just said that! I have always been very leary of the whole idea- I admire the mamas who do it but never thought I could myself. I had many reservations... what if something was the matter with the baby at birth, what about the mess, my house is so small... and on and on. However, most of the hospital experience with Roman was nothing short of frustrating... worrying that my birth plan wouldn't be followed, the constant threat of medical intervention, the nurses who never let you rest postpartum, the cold and sterile rooms... and even more on and on. My friend who had her baby 2 days ago (she is actually my doula) had a homebirth and from what I have heard so far thinks went beautifully. Her labor was only 9 hours!
So the last few days I have been getting online and really doing some research about the whole homebirth thing. I have read all about the safety, and in many cases your home is actually safer for birth if you are being attended to by a trained midwife. I have also been reading a bunch of different mama's homebirth stories and last night I came across this one at mothering.com: Not the Kind of House for a Home Birth, by Emily Sinagra. It truly touched me. It just seemed so fitting and perfect for birth. I suddenly had visions of preparing my home for the birth of my next baby (I love to plan and prepare things). I could see myself peacefully laboring in my home by the glow of soy candles, listening to a soft playlist of music flowing from my computer. The ideas of being able to drink and eat from my own kitchen without waiting for a nurse to fill up my cranberry juice or tell me that the hospital cafeteria is closed so all I can eat after my 21 hour labor is a stale miniature croissant, became suddenly appealing. Not having to deal with stalling my labor while driving to the hospital, constant vital sign checks, nurse shift changes, and worries over my birth plan being followed, started to make too much sense to ignore.
But what would Jer say? I had to bring up the topic in light conversation to see what his initial reaction might be. Our friend's recent homebirth was the prefect introduction. I started chatting with him about how short her labor was (her first labor in the hospital had been VERY long), and how beautiful she had described the experience as being. Then I casually said, "Man, homebirth doesn't sound so bad after all!" And to my shock he said, "Yeah, ya think? Would you want one?" Trying not to stammer, I said, "Well, I'm not ruling it out. It might be nice." And he just said, "Yeah, it could be good." Holy Cow! I can't believe he was so open to it!
For me, that was the final decision maker for me. I know now that I want a homebirth with our next baby, whenever that may be. I know we will get lots of whiplash from friends and family (my brother had spina bifida and they didn't know before he was delivered which scares my family to death, and lots of our friends are nurses.) But ya know what, I don't care. I am comfortable with this decision, much more comfortable than the thought of another hospital birth. And really that is all that matters. Right? I think so.