It has been a long crazy year- full of ups and downs. On Friday I was recounting some of those stressors, especially those plaguing me the most right now, to a dear and lovely friend. She is one of those women who you just can't help but love being around. She exudes joy. She is filled with truth and humility, and is truly wise beyond her years! Five minutes in her presence and you can tell you are in the company of someone who daily sits at the feet of Jesus. She is a very good listener and is sure to give me honest, but ever so kind, advice just when I need it.
So, anyhow, as I was spilling to her about how our current stressors are plaguing our marriage (nothing irreparable, but just one of those stressed out rocky times- ya know?!) she asked if I had heard of The Love Dare. Of course, I have seen the movie Fireproof and have even flipped through the book before at our local Christian bookstore, but never really felt like I wanted to do it, not right then anyway. It did strike me oddly however that just days before she made mention of it, the book had come to mind but I had dismissed it since we are so broke right now and there is no way I could afford it- my convenient out.
Later Friday night, in the midst of a particularly tense evening in our home, I gave the book another genuine thought. Would it be helpful? Could I do it? Could I buy it once we got paid? But in my frustration (and bad attitude) I decided that not only could I not currently afford the book, I just flat out didn't want to do it. I just didn't feel like it! Why should I go out of my way to pamper someone who seems bound and determined to erk me lately (as I am sure he thinks about me as well!)? Nope, not for me! Not right now! I just didn't think I was up for it.
Then came Saturday. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law came over with our niece and nephew to visit and bring Roman and me our belated birthday gifts since we hadn't yet been able to find time to get together. Guess what lurked at the bottom of that cheerful birthday gift bag? Yup- The Love Dare!
I think my reaction was something along the lines of "You've got to be kidding me!"
And looking heavenward, "ALRIGHT! I get the message!"
I explained to my sister-in-law that I had just been discussing the book with a friend the day before. She then told me that when she went shopping for my gift it just kept jumping out at her. She had thumbed through it and even thought that she didn't even really want to buy it for me since it could seem offensive. She had put the book under her arm and proceeded to peruse the rest of the store finding lots of other, more "fun," fiction options to get me, but finally followed the prodding and bought The Love Dare.
I assured her that I was not offended, at all! In fact, I was glad to have a sister-in-law, and friend the day before, who were willing to listen to the Lord's gentle voice and follow it. How blessed am I to have not one but two people in my life who were willing to, even unknowingly, be used by the Lord? Moreover, who am I to deserve the Lord's attention in this way? To think of all He had to do and how many people He had to use to get this message clearly across to me leaves me awe-stuck and completely humbled. He cares so much more for even little me- more than I acknowledge or give Him credit for.
So, needless to say, I will be starting The Love Dare against my will this week. Of course, I will be letting you all know how it is going and of course would appreciate your prayer! :-)
And Jesus- thank You for loving me as much as You do- more than I can comprehend or understand! Help make Your will my will and continue to do whatever it takes for me to hear Your voice through my thick skull! Thank You for never giving up on me!